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What to do When Someone Disrespects You — 11 Comments

  1. How can I simply walk away from a parent if I dont know what an abusive parent looks like. An abusive parent might be the norm for someone who has grown up with them. They may have no clear moral compass and as far as they’re concerned they are utterly on their own, it is hard to know who to trust and how to go about the problem because it’s such a complex problem that requires sophisticated diagnosing strategies, that are way beyond the control of a helpless kid.

    My mum had a massive row with me to go to art college because she wants me to live in footsteps of my uncle who is an artist. I ended up doing some random course in art I didn’t like instead of studying graphic design or marketing, she keeps money from my dad, asks what he is constantly up to, has constant arguments. Also I have a disability which makes it hard for me to have my own dependence since I’ve been Co-defendant on my parents for so long.

    • I have a toxic mother too. The best thing is to set boundaries. My birth mother dosn’t want to be my family any more,as time passes our relation becomes colder and colder,if any meeting happen ,she is just disrespectful,…My advice is to follow your dreams. I have accepted mother nature as a mother and I have found great things in universe, if someone as parent doesn’t want to be open and they don’t want to love and serve unconditionaly ,just leave them alone, be strong and honest with yourself, you know how to get along with your disability. There is great love in universe. sometimes it will be difficult but the result worth it

  2. Am glad I read this article, it has confirmed my decision to break off totally from my dad who had disrespected me for So long and refused to change despite all my efforts to get him to change his attitute.

    • Thank you for the advice. I’m working with a woman that disrespects me. I’ve overcome being cut off from my tender feelings. She sees it as weakness. Oh well.

  3. I had a very toxic childhood. My parents had both been somewhat abused emotionally/pyschologically by their own parents and never sought help to deal with it. Hence all of their dysfunction was brought together when they married and heaped on us. This is what I did at the age of 30 and what I recommend; Ask yourself one question; What do I get out of this relationship? Or you can ask it another way; How do I feel after spending time with this person? For me once I approached it this way and answered honestly, it was very clear, the answer was nothing positive. Every interaction with my mother was toxic, unpleasant, negative and joyless. It was literally like stepping from sunshine and warmth into the bowels of some cold, dark dungeon. The next move was easy. I told her what I thought of her, how she made me feel and cut the cord. My life changed immediately for the better, I felt set free and like a burden was gone. Now I had been in therapy for years, so I will not claim to have reached this point without lots of help. I have never regretted it and am now 52. She abused me emotionally for years, but it all stopped the day I told her I was done with her. I grew to love myself and like myself, now my self esteem is great and my self worth is even better. I am now able to look back and see it and her for what it was. A deeply wounded insecure person trying to wound all those around her to make herself feel better. Good luck to all who come here for answers. It isn’t about you, it is about them.

    • Dear Shannon, Sorry it’s taken me this long to comment on your post. I am glad you read my blog and that you have been able to take care of yourself, grow to love yourself and like yourself. As you say, it’s hard work, but worth it! Thanks for your comment. And the support you offer to others.
      Best wishes, Phyllis

  4. I have mentally abusive mother too she tries to control all at home she is such bitch she is greedy about money she.never tried me guide properly and tries to bring lot of misunderstanding between me and my father,sister whole family she is told that we have tortured her such a cheap lady she never take control of home even I have move a inch at home I have take her permission.please help what do I do with such bloody mother I am really frustrated and depressed.

    • Dear Poorva,
      I am sorry that you are so frustrated and depressed about your mother. I hope you will be able to get some help to sort out how you can get some emotional distance and focus on taking care of yourself. Thanks for your comment.

  5. It’s funny all the comments here are family related. My mother abused the living hell out of me and today my spouse was so mad at me he told me I deserved what she and my father did to me. So I feel emotionally ruined or at least did. I hit him so hard in the face I won’t forget what it sounded like. I realized I am losing control and no longer want to. I need to take myself away from my parents that do not love me at all. But my trauma drags me around and ptsd. There is no justice for what happened to me it’s been years and I am having a horrible time adjusting to reality and coping with life it’s so so hard.

    • It’s really good that you realized you were losing control and that you don’t want to. And it is so difficult to separate from difficult/ disrespectful people. That is when the trauma can be so heavy and the PTSD symptoms can increase. You are right that it is so hard to be abused and the aftermath is extremely difficult. I am glad that you wrote about it. The next step is continue connecting with people who are not going to abuse you so that you can get the support you need.
      Best wishes, Phyllis

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