A magic tree

Here is a way women are put down:
“She has the right to change her mind.” This means she is fickle, a tease, wishy-washy, not to be taken seriously.

A tree is just a tree. It gets to be itself and grow how it needs to.  It gets to change its mind and grow towards the light without being humiliated or criticized into conformity or submission.  Women are like trees.  We are strong and rooted in connection to others and to family, especially children.  We are compassionate and can offer shade and beauty to those around us.  We are nurtured by emotionally by the people and beauty around us.

If you are feeling low, lonely, depressed, or anxious, if you have suffered a trauma and feel like a tree has just fallen on top of you, try to think about the ways trees can be soothing for you.  I have written several blogs about trees and poetry about trees.  This is a blog about women and trees. You may have childhood memories of playing under or climbing into a tree.  You may like to read next to the trunk of a tree in the park or in your yard.   There may be a tree like a canopy that sits outside a window in your home.  Even a picture of a tree can be soothing.

What are ways to respond if someone intimates that you are fickle, a tease, wishy-washy, or not to be taken seriously?

• Ask yourself if this is really true about you.  If it is, then you may want to take the opportunity to look into yourself through therapy or other self-growth opportunities.  It is all to easy to succumb to a stereotype, or to believe that you need to fit in to what others think is the way to be.
• If this is not true about you, then ask yourself if the other person’s opinion of you is really that important.  As women we tend to care a lot about what other people think.  But you don’t have to take criticism personally no matter what.  The person who is dishing the criticism out is the one with a problem.
• Respond without defensiveness.  This may not be so easy to do.  Take a deep breath.  Sometimes you can simply say , “ouch, that hurt.  Did you really mean to hurt me?”  A response like this can sometimes diffuse the situation.
• If it is okay, turn the comment into something fun.  Getting to laugh is a great way to diffuse a put down.
• Don’t spend hours thinking about what you could have said or what you want to say next time.  Sometimes writing your feelings in a journal or poem can help you come up with a great idea to use in the future.

My hope is for you to feel your girl-power!  I know you can do it!

Photo from Photobucket